26 Months

We have been waiting now for 26 months to get a referral for our Little Miss. So much has happened in these last 3 years it amazes me. I never thought that we would still be waiting 26 months later and still be so far away. I will continue to count the months until referral but each month becomes a little less momentous as this wait grinds on and gets longer. It is kinda like you are in a line at Disney except they don't post anything about how long you are going to be there and there are no fun things to look at while in line. Oh and they are secretly adding rows to the line around the corner where you can't see them. But there is a really fun, wild, scary, exciting ride waiting for you at the end if you can just get there.

I spent some time today looking at what I was blogging about last year. I know what I was doing I was going through an emotional roller coaster of a life time. June 25th 2008 was when I learned about a little boy that I thought might someday be ours. But I never really blogged about it. I just find it interesting that I choose not to make public what was going on in our lives. I do have private reflections of those times. I really wonder if it was a defence mechanism trying to prevent myself from getting hurt when it did not work out and it didn't work out. I wonder why I have not had that same sense of secrecy when talking about BB's adoption. I still worry that I will be hurt again but I do feel (even with the lack of info) that it will happen this time. I know that it will work out and LM will one day be home so although there is the pain of the wait it will come to an end in a happy way.