I am hoping for a better week this week because quite frankly last week sucked. I am a funny person, I crave change and yet I am scared to death of change. I love the progress and the growth that change often brings, however I mourn the loss of what was. I grieved for ideas and hopes that may never be this week which made it long and miserable. I hope that everything happening, is for the better but I am constantly worried that we have again made a poor decision, we don't have the best track record when it comes to family planning. We are doing the best we can with the information that we get but that information is very limited. Often, we just have to make that leap of faith into the unknown. Being a very scientific person I don’t like the unknown, I like to have facts to base my decisions on and lately those are just nonexistent. I know this is all very vague but I am just not ready to be more specific. I am sure soon enough it will all be clear or maybe it is just a dream and I will wake up to my perfect life, yeah right.
This weekend, I buried my self in my sewing room. I totally neglected the cleaning of the house. It looks like our kitchen has thrown up all over the counters; the same thing in our bedroom, laundry is just mocking me from every corner. Clean clothes wait patiently to be folded and dirty clothes just laugh in my face. I think the bathrooms are beginning to evolve new and dangerous life forms. In spite of this I sewed. It is kind of my therapy, my get away. I had nothing in particular that I needed to sew so I just worked on some things for Christmas and some gifts. I know I will have to face the house soon enough but I really should stop neglecting the house before the bathroom starts needing to be fed, we have enough pets.
I went to the pool for the first time in about a month. Not all my fault it was closed for 2 weeks and then I had things going on and was not feeling well. I was super surprised that when I went to the doctor last week I was down 10 lbs! So I figure if I can keep it coming off slowly I might actually be OK with exercise. My goal right now is to go down a jean size. I figure baby steps might be my best strategy. The pool was the same although I only went for about 50 minutes not 60. I will go back on Wednesday and try for the full 60 minutes.