The Reality, I Am Not a Stay At Home Mom

Here is the real deal.  I go back to work in 2 weeks and a few days.  This time has gone too fast!  Where in the manual did it say that time was going to start speeding by like a freight train.  Oh yeah, I forgot I lost the manual and it was written in Chinese any way.  To be perfectly honest a bit of me is excited to go back to work.  I need a break where I am an adult who does adult things.  I never thought I would miss going to work this much and don't get me wrong I love my daughter to death but she is exhausting.  On the other side of the coin I am going to have a really hard time leaving her.  YES, I know I am leaving her with my mom but I am still leaving her.  What if I miss something?  What if she smiles really cute and says mama when I am not there? How is she going to handle me dropping her off and daddy picking her up?  I know she will be fine but I am really having some mixed feelings about this return to work thing.

Another thing how am I going to get out of bed, shower, have 2 cups of coffee (trust me it's essential), wake up Chloe, give her a bath, breakfast, get her dressed for the day, and get out of the house before 8 am? And yes this girl must bath in the morning she sweats like a, well I don't really know something that sweats a lot, but she does at night.   Right now we are lucky to get out of the house by 10 if we are going anywhere.

I have been visiting my mom's often, she has a daycare so Chloe will be there with other kids and Nana will take great care of her.  She likes it and I have even left her for an hour or so and she does fine.  Chloe is pretty firmly attached to me, I have to give credit to the orphanage she was in, she is a very well adjusted little girl.  I am so happy that she spent the first 15 months of her life where she did.  Well let me rephrase since she was not able to spend them with family it is good that she was in a good place.  Oh I just can't get that right, I will have to do a whole separate post on that someday.  The problem with the going back to work/daycare issue is me not Chloe.  She will be awesome and adapt, I however will cry and call 5 times a day (which might drive my mother crazy) but I guess I can adapt too.  I just don't have to be happy about it.

So today I got a call from one of my mom's little ones and he wanted Chloe to come over because he had something for her.  FYI all my mom's day care kids are completely and utterly adorable and if any of them asked me anything I think I would probably give in.  I was giving Chloe a bath but I had not planned on going out today so since Jim was still home I asked him if he could dress Chloe while I showered.  This was his outfit.

This is after my adjustment.  I actually didn't have to do much to correct the outfit and make it a little more seasonally appropriate.

I don't think she was terribly impressed with either choice but that is OK.  FYI that last one was her "quit taking pictures mom, I am not planning on smiling ever!" face.


Lorrene said…
I bet she will love day care. It may take a few days until she realizes you are coming back again. I love those cute little jeans.
I wish I had some words of encouragement for you. It's tough...tough, tough, tough! You will probably be super tired for a few weeks, but then you will all settle in.

She's sure going to get a lot of use out of that sweater...cause it's still so big on her!!!
Aunt Karen said…
That shade of blue is sooo pretty on her. Let me rephrase that, Chloe makes that shade of blue really pretty.
Amy said…
I know what you mean--for all of it!
I was a SAHM when Martina came home, but what did I do when she napped? Jobhunted online. LOL. A few months after we returned from China the first time, I kept my friend's baby who worked at the university across the street, and she would come home for lunch to breastfeed, and when she would go back to work, I would almost beg, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE! I NEED ADULT COMPANY!! And we, too, waited a long time to be parents. The wait from China wasn't too long, but we had years of infertility and failed adoptions first. So, no matter how hard you work to create your family, your need for adult conversation doesn't just "go away." I totally understand.

And I know what you mean about the orphanage--I feel the same way about Evan. Of course, I'd never wish that his birth family would leave him, but if he HAD to be in institutional care, he was in the best group foster home for special needs kids in the world.

Yes, the time goes by fast fast fast. I remember when we brought Martina home--it was September, and I was talking to my mom about how we were going to handle the airport at Christmastime with a baby. She reminded me that things might not be the way I assumed because Martina would be walking then. I was completely unable to even picture my 11-month old cutie pie walking. And now she's a 6-year-old kindergartner who acts like she's 15.
Alyson and Ford said…
Sounds like you have all the bases covered so good luck!
She's adorable!

Alyzabeth's Mommy
jade said…
With a bit of luck your colleagues will have questions to ask and things to do for you all day, you'll be surprised your day is over before you even noticed you'd been gone... this is not good English, but I think you'll understand - just like everyone understands (kind of) what you are trying to say about the orphanage. And you still have two weeks to enjoy having time in the mornings! And I love the stockings (is that what you call it?) the flowers are just too cute, I understand Jim liked to show them off to the world at large (but I would have been cold too!). Looking forward to the following posts already...
One day, I'll comment on the going back to work issue, but for now, I have to say...that outfit cracked me up! Love her!
Jen said…
I would stay home in a heartbeat if I could, but alas I am a working mom! So, I make the best of it! Believe it or not, you will figure out a routine and you will get to work on time. You may just have to lug one of your cups of coffee in a travel mug. ??? LOL!

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