This is When You Know

My Ah-Ha moment.  Well, I don't really know what that means but sometimes a moment in time slaps you in the face and then you know what reality is.

As I was walking back to get a new ironing board cover in Target yesterday, Chloe found a baggie of crackers in my purse.  Graham crackers are new to her and I am encouraging it since it is so hard to get her to eat crunchy things.  What harm can come of a graham cracker in a cart, right? I give her about a quarter of a cracker and she proceeds to put almost the whole thing in her mouth.   I knew then, I was in trouble, but she tried to chew it, maybe I was about to be saved and she would swallow it.  Oh No! gagging, here it comes the part where I fish the cracker out of my daughters mouth, yea me. So there I was standing in the ironing isle with a kid in my cart and a handful of partially chewed cracker.  As I considered my options my moment came.  This is my life, my reality at this moment in time I am chewed up cracker holder.  I was not a bad moment just a real one.  

Can I just say this?  You don't get preparations for the little stuff.  No matter how much experience & preparation you have, no one tells you what to do with the partially chewed graham cracker in the middle of a department store.  No one tells you that handling chewed up food with your bare hands is your new job (at least I was not informed).

The next time I am at a baby shower and they ask you to give some advice to the mother, you know when everyone writes, to be patient, to handle everything with love and don't sweat the small stuff, etc., this is what I will write:  
When you are in a store and you have already used the last kleenex in your purse to wipe a runny nose (which you threw it away, rookie mistake, a snotty kleenex is sometimes better than no kleenex at all) and the little one spits a half chewed cracker in your hand.  Just brush off the really nasty crumbs and give the non-soggy part back to kid.  Wipe your hand on your jeans and proceed with your shopping like nothing happened.  If you happen to be seen doing this by another shopper or store employee, just glare and give them the "WHAT? you know you would do the same thing" look.   
Now that is real advice.


I love it, love it, love it... wait until you open your handbag to find a Barbie Leg in there or plastic kangaroos... copious boxes of raisins :) We waited so long for this and oh I am loving it :)
Anonymous said…
I hear ya! I was babysitting and had the little guy in the cart and what harm can it be to let him play with a shaving cream bottle? Not like he can get the lid off..right?? Well as I discovered kids love to pick at stuff and under that can is a little plastic stopper that keeps the stuff from exploding all over.. How did I discover this? Well he picked it and one would have thought I was getting showered with water.. You know where you put up your hand but don't move for some odd reason..Uhh Ya the loud hiss and the pink foam stuff all over us was pretty dang funny to the other ladies standing around.. So I give you this advice.. Don't let her play with a compressed bottle a shaving cream in the cart at Walmart..

Oh this is Erin.. :)
MKBookWorks said…
17 hair bows (I have 2 girls) 2 matchbox cars, a bag of gummy bears, 2 packs of tissues, small thing of wipes, hand gel, several small plastic Little Pet Shop creatures, A magical flying pony, 2 dinosaurs (A t-rex & a brontosaurus)movie ticket stubs...2 kinds of business cards - one for work and one for play dates, a camera, a video camera and an Ipod touch with kid music.. my big girl purse.. filled with the minutiae of double life.. Mom and Professional.. and it never fails to make me smile!

And it struck me a month or two after I returned home with DD#1 I was standing in the kitchen all dressed for work - for the 3rd time and I again (for the 3rd time) had puke every where and I was triumphant because the lovey was clean.. I had saved the lovey!! That was when I knew.... I was MOMMY!!

Glad you are enjoying the Mommy-hood!

Michelle said…
LOVE IT! Now that truly is advice we all need!
Amy said…
And no one prepared me for what you do when your 2-yr-old throws up in the airport while you are running at high speed to catch a flight. (He wasn't sick. He can throw up at will when he's pissed off.) Maybe the next time I host a baby shower, I'll have to come up with a game where we go around and educate the mama with advice in situations like these...I was thinking about only for 1st time mamas, but my throw-up-at-will child is kid #2, so that's new to me.
Ellie said…
haha - that is hilarious. but real. i told my 4 year old today to just wipe her nose on her shirt (she was trying to grab mine!) but preferably the inside :)

great post!!!

xo ellie
Kelly said…
Been there, done that!
Charissa said…
Awesome post! Funny now but not so much when you're living it.

I can't remember all my stories but I've had a few involving potty training. Imagine a full cart of groceries, 4 kids, 1 being an infant and #3 just pooped himself badly (stinky loose) and diaper bag is in the van. Whatcha going to do? Oh and to call attention to us he's walking like he just rode a horse for a few miles and is whine/crying. sigh..
jade said…
Oh my, this is just what I needed! I laughed so much, thank you - thank you to the other commenters too! I also have a handbag full of stuff, and usually have a hard time finding what I need, but sometimes I do! Even though it might have a molten chocolate easter egg stuck on it... (yes - they stay there in case of needing to feed a starving child straight away - but mostly end up sticking onto lego blocks and plastic spoons (you know, for feeding her when on the road)) - enjoy the shopping trips! (I also have to make sure no "foreign" (and definitely not needed) items end up in the cart before arriving at the cashiers) ... I love your advise for new/other moms, will keep it in mind - regards, jade
That's what pockets are for - wiping your hands that is!

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