“It Seems As Though She Has Always Been Here”

As many of you may know I am addicted to blogs: I read tons and I comment on a few (probably should on more but, hey, that is me.). I love reading the stories of families that have their children home already. One common thing that I read is “It seems as though she has always been here” or some variant at some point after becoming a parent. As a first time parent I have no idea what that means. It is one of those things that I think you just have to experience to understand. Or maybe it is just me. I remember what it was like not to have pets, I can’t imagine my life without them, but I do remember. I know there are many things I can’t learn until I am actually a parent.

Some part of me wants to be completely prepared for any situation and learn everything from books and others that I can. I secretly (well not a secret anymore) say to myself “when that happens to me I will do this or do that and everything will be better when it is my turn.” But then another part of me wants the unknowns of parenthood. I want to be able to think on my feet and I don’t want to be perfect because, let’s face it, perfection is boring. I just hope I have the skills to do a good job. I know some people say all it takes is Love but really who are they kidding. Yeah Love is a huge part of it but there are parents out there that love their children but do not have the skills to discipline them or have a sense of humor to realize that situations are sometimes just funny.

My parents were not perfect but they were and are the best. I turned out pretty good I think and I hope that I can improve on their skills a bit because I think that is what they would want. I hope that I am able to balance all the skills it takes to be a good mom and that my children will appreciate someday (not until after the teenage years, I do realize that) that I did my best and I always strived to do even better. I know as an international adoptive parent I will face many challenges that my parents did not. I already have mountains of paperwork, the pregnancy of an elephant or longer, etc. but I hope to have the knowledge, skills and flexibility to be able to handle unique situations when they arise.

So I guess, what I am saying is I am up for the ride however bumpy it may be. I look forward to a day that some first time parent will be secretly reading my blog (if you do please comment, it is OK) and wonder what I mean when I say “It seems like she has always been here” I can’t wait to know what it feels like, to know what it feels like to have a child that you are responsible for in every way, to love a child like no other and to be loved back by that child.


Jimh. said…
I want to know that feeling, too. More than I let on.
You are both going to be WONDERFUL parents... you learn as you go...
There is not a book out there to tell you how to raise your babies..
I know I will have to relearn some things also..
HUGS to you
You are the BEST friend..
Have a Great Evening.
I am sooo excited for you and Jim..
and watch out for the teenage years...LOL
Alyson & Ford said…
We wanted to stop in and say thank you for your good wishes coming our way. They mean tons to us. And about being a parent - with the love you have in your heart, that little one is going to be blessed and be a blessing to you! Thank you again...
Christie said…
Well, first of all - it's an honor to be one of those blogs that you comment on. Tee hee!

Second, after getting home with Quint, we haven't really thought "it's like he's always been here". Actually, I remember VERY vividly what it was like without him. Maybe it's too soon? On the other hand, we do say things like "he just makes our family fun" or "NOW we're really a family".

It's a monumentally changing experience. The downside is that everything you think you're learning, or trying to prepare for - throw it out the window. It is an absolute "Figure it out as you go". That is the #1 thing I've learned. And I never believed in the "mother's instinct" until they handed Quint to me. And boy oh boy do I believe now!

You'll be great - because you love her already - the rest will come...trust me on this one.


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