Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Our Life on a Blog

I know it seems like we document a lot of our lives on this blog and on Jim's blog and it's true, but there is so much more to us that what is bloggable.  We pick and choose the moments to share and many times they are the nice, cute, perfect family moments.  I try to occasionally show the funny and frustrating moments, the tough and the scary moments but that does not happen as often.  I feel I need to share this because I think some people (no one in particular) and even our daughter (if she ever reads this) will get the impression that our lives are exactly what is on the blog.  We are more than the sum of our blogs, much much more.  The experiences that we don't capture with a camera or a blog are just as important and shape us just as much as what we choose to share.

There are things happening in our lives, that I don't know if I will ever be able to blog about.  I hope that someday I will but every time I sit down to write about them I feel stuck.  I realize that I am just not ready to put them into writing yet.  However, these things are shaping and influencing me and my future.  Don't worry there are no horrible dark secrets in my closet but I have found the urge to blog about some of them interesting.  I think that in some cases I feel obligated to blog and share adoption related thing, as if it is my duty as an adoptive parent.  Why do we perceive these obligations?  I think that those that can share and help are amazing but if I am not there yet why do I feel it is my duty to be the educator.  I also find it funny that I like it when blogs "get real" and talk about the hard stuff but I can't seem to do it yet.  I wonder do other bloggers feel the same way.  

Then there are the things that I deliberately avoid on the blog.  Certain topics that I have decided (for our family) are taboo to discus in a public forum.  I guess because I don't like conflict, if a topic will cause drama I avoid it, most of the time.  I might risk it once in a while but for the most part I think I stay pretty safe.  I like it that way.  

It is interesting though that I feel guilt about what I put in my blog.  There are no set rules to blogging and I certainly am not followed enough people to be influencing others.  But I care and want people to be interested enough to come back here once in a while and hear what I have to say. I still love the blogging format and I love to be able to share glimpses of our life with others, I hope you don't mind that you're not always getting the whole picture.

Well, I have made it 18 posts in the Spring Fling!    

10 comments:

AwesomeCloud and family said...

I think it's all right to maintain some privacy and still keep a blog. Almost everyone does it that way. Over time, you get a surer sense of what constitutes a 'bloggable moment', and it's easier to let the private stuff happen. Sometimes I still mentally compose blog posts that I know I'll never post, and that's fine. I don't post them; I post something fluffy instead. But if you do feel like being instructive, please do! I still learn stuff from people's blogs all the time.

Kim said...

I say do it.. because you know that you liked to read the things that are somewhat out of the GREAT LIFE when you were waiting.. and it help us all of us in one way or another.. there could be someone out there that doesn't want to open up and if you do then you could possibly help each other..
I am getting ready to do a honest post.. about what I am struggling with as going for married ~ waiting on Isabella to single ~ waiting on Isabella and the single life. UGH..
LOVE YA..

C and G said...

I can totally relate . . . sometimes there's so much to say but getting it on the screen is really hard. And then there's the guilt - so dumb!!! I"m learning to get over the guilt and just blog when I want to and forget about it when I don't. It's a battle though!

Diana - FreeStyleMama said...

Even though my blog is my own and I can write WTH I want, I don't! Nothing wrong with that. I just try to find an outlet elsewhere...and outlets vary depending on the circumstance!

We just look at the pictures anyway! LOL!

Michelle said...

I swear to God I wrote this same post the other day. I should send it to you. It's freaky!! Mine is sitting in the "drafts" section though. Not brave enough to post it. :) That said, I can't really give you any advice on what you "should" and shouldn't write because I try to play it safe most of the time too. Good job on the posting every day thing. I am seriously running out of steam!

Faith, Hope, and Love said...

I like your blog just the way it is...and I would still like it whether you shares more or shared less. Your daughter is a doll and I look forward to watching her grow. I remember the pain of your wait and its brings me such joy to see Chloe in your arms. You and your hubby are a hoot!

I don't feel obligated to write on my blog. I share in hopes of helping others who might be going thru the same thing....or perhaps giving encouragement to someone who is considering adopting. But I have to admit...that many nights after I post I go to bed filled with anxiety about what I have written and many times I wake up and change my words. lol God only knows who is reading my blog...and that scares me too!

There is a large part of my life that I will never share.

And...we can't judge a person by their blog cause they can make themselves look anyway they want. :)

Love and blessings,
Robin

Amy said...

Cora,

I think so many of us can relate to much of what you feel about "To Blog, or Not To Blog" material. Maintaining a certain amount of privacy is important (particularly when our kids are involved).

I've never felt guilty about things I haven't posted, but I do have the desire to "keep it real."

So often we see "perfect images", hear "perfect stories" and that is awesome, but NO family is without pain, conflict, the ocassional "big ugly" moment. I think there's the perpensity for us in readerland to become burdened by what I think of as the "Martha Stewart Complex" when we see these images of perfection only...a girl (or guy) could get to thinking, "Man, what is wrong with me (us)? Why can't I be the perfect mother/wife/photojournalist that she (he) clearly is? Why aren't my kids always happy, well-groomed, well-adjusted...as hers are?" Snapshots are just that. They never tell the whole story.

So while I do enjoy visions of beauty, I don't feel an emotional connection when I read "all beautiful, all the time." And though I have inadvertantly stepped into controversy on ocassion by "keeping it real" (yeah, that does sort of...well, suck)that's how life is, REALly.

All that said, anyone who has followed along on your journey to parenthood has seen you and Jim keeping it real. Keep posting as you feel comfortable. Most importantly, keep those Chloe pictures coming, please! :)

(((Big Hugs)))

Charissa said...

what a response to your post! Your slight vagueness was perfectly aimed at opening people up to talk. Now, had you been forthright about whatever, I bet half would fall silent and half respond "Right on!". Funny. To alienate or not? It's public and not a journal. However you write creates an audience. Whom do you want as an audience? BTW I understand your dilemma, good luck on working it out.

ashley said...

I am new to reading your blog, but I really enjoy it. We have daughters that are very close in age, and we too are somewhat newly home from China (going on 6 months). I love to see what your darling Chloe is up to.

I was recently criticized anonymously on my blog for not being "real". While I certainly don't share close to everything, what I do write about is real and comes from my heart.

This is your blog, it should be just how you want it to be!
:) Ashley

denise said...

I'm with Ashley: your blog should be just the way you want it to be. And personally, I like hanging out here, whatever you post :)

My own blogging lately (or lack of blogging, as the case may be) has been mostly reflecting my laziness. With a little adoption panic thrown in.

 

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